Every man is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing.
~ Claude M. Bristol
Our beliefs have a powerful ability to shape our reality. I’m a firm believer that the strength of our internal world is directly correlated to the success that we experience in the external world. Consciously or unconsciously, beliefs serve as the backdrop for everything that we do. They inform everything from the types of romantic relationships that we seek out, as well as how they develop, to the manner in which we manage and grow our money, to how successful we do or don’t become in our careers or businesses, to the level of health we’re able to achieve.
The beautiful thing about beliefs is that we get to create them, because that’s all they are – beliefs! As Tony Robbins says, “beliefs are just a feeling of certainty about something.” That applies, whether it’s a negative, disempowering belief, or a positive empowering belief. We get to choose them. If beliefs are all made up, why not select something ultimately serves you, and propels you forward to greater heights.
Think about a single belief that you have and explore how that belief influences how you do or don’t show up each and every day. How does it influence the nature of the conversations that you have with people, and how you tackle the things in your life that you need to get done.
An old limiting belief that used to keep me playing small was that if I ever achieved success in life, I might destroy my family. My actions, my level of success was directly linked to the ceiling that I created by continually reinforcing this belief. It wasn’t until I conditioned a new belief that I was able to surpass my previous level of success. The reality, which I failed to comprehend when I first developed that belief, was that a person can be extraordinary successful, professionally, and still be an extremely committed family man. It isn’t easy. It takes work, and a fair amount of juggling, but it can be done. There are examples, out there, of this being the case. I had to embrace this new positive belief, in order to make it a reality.
Dedicate some time to sitting down and writing down a list of your beliefs. Separate them by disempowering and empowering. Do some reflection on how your limiting beliefs stand in the way of you living the life you really want for yourself, and how your empowering beliefs support your efforts to live the life you deserve.
Next, decide what you’re going to do with your limiting beliefs. Realize that change, takes commitment, and that you must re-wire the synaptic connections in your brain that have stored those beliefs, so that you can free yourself from the power they hold over you, and commit yourself to experiencing the world through the lens of the new belief. Recite it over and over and over. The more we practice something, the more we condition ourselves to operate that way, naturally, moving forward. Claude M. Bristol suggests using the practice of Mirror Work, because in order to convince somebody else of anything, you must convince yourself first. Look yourself in the eye and recite the belief, daily, enough times, until it becomes deeply engrained in your subconscious. The more you take action with that new belief as your foundation, and reap the rewards of those actions, the more you reinforce the certainty – the validity – of that belief. Each time you succeed in a manner that is congruent with that belief, you create a strong new point of reference that you can build upon going forward. Your successes begin to stack up, as a result, and before you know it, you’ve made the new belief a part of your identity. At that point, it becomes who you are, and how you operate. For example, Changing a belief from “social interaction is scary,” to “I love people!” will yield wonderful results, but, you have to say it over and over and over, with enthusiasm. The more positive emotion you can put into it, the more effective it will be!
You might be asking what if I say a new belief but I don’t really feel that it’s true. You have to condition it, and test it. Put it to work, and reap the rewards of that effort, so you reinforce the validity and create new points of reference. As a result, you’ll override the old points of reference.
Rule your mind or it will rule you.
~ Horace
You prove to yourself that you can interact with people without devastating consequences, it’s not so scary, and before you know it you’ve gone from being a Wallflower to a Social Butterfly. It doesn’t, necessarily, always mean that you’re fully relieved of this fear of social interactions, it’s just that that voice gets quieter and quieter and only gets activated in extreme circumstances, like giving a presentation in front of a group of people, where you’re the center of attention. It’s a similar path, and very much related, to overcoming imposter syndrome.
As James Clear says, “each action that you take is a vote cast for the type of person you want to be.” Each time you repeat this belief, and act based on that, then you reinforce the belief that, for example, “I can do this” and you even start to apply it to other circumstances, in other situations. As in the previous example, before you know it, you move from a person who is paralyzed with fear to becoming a person who does things, consistently, with great success.
In the writings of Epictetus, from ancient Rome, we see evidence that humans have understood the power that beliefs wield over our lives. So much so, that Albert Ellis, the psychiatrist, created a theoretical orientation referred to as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which seeks to aid people in living a great quality of life, free from the suffering caused by the machinations of the mind. The basic principle of this approach is to re-frame your thoughts from those that are disempowering, or immobilizing as Wayne Dyer would say, to those that are empowering or mobilizing.
“Dogs are to be feared,” changes the way one experiences interactions with animals, compared to “animals are wonderful creatures.” The behaviors follow in kind. Just ask Jane Goodall who completely changed how people viewed primates. She demonstrated that with the right approach, one could live harmoniously amongst these, at times, very dangerous creatures. In a similar way, the entire running community was forever altered after Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile barrier. Up until that point, nobody believed that it could be done. There were no examples, or points of reference, for what was possible, so nobody ever accomplished that goal because they had a faulty belief system. He believed, in his heart and mind, that it was possible, he visualized and trained, intently, and, sure enough, he accomplished what was, at the time, a remarkable feet. After he paved the way, and demonstrated what was possible, it started happening in droves, by other athletes.
Remember, beliefs are made up. We get to decide what they are, so wouldn’t it serve us to select beliefs that empower us to grow and thrive in life, rather than those that’ll simply keep us stuck in our current place. I encourage you to make a list of the beliefs that keep you stuck, right where you are.
So, what to do with limiting beliefs. The first and most important step is to bring them into awareness. Once we become aware of a pattern that we’re running, we can get to work in changing it. We do this by, first, identifying them. Once we’ve achieved that, we can reference examples in our lives where those beliefs interfered with whatever we were attempting to accomplish. Limiting beliefs absolutely do not serve us. As Michael Singer might say, “it’s one hundred percent cost and zero percent benefit.” The next step is to condition the belief, until it becomes synonymous with our identity. Repetition is the mother of skill. Create a consistent discipline where you recite the belief, over and over, and, again, do it with emotional intensity, so you create new neuronal connections in your mind. Over and over, my clients talk about how creating empowering incantations, completely transform how they show up. I witness their evolution from suffering to a life of joy, just from this simple practice, alone. Don’t worry, at first it’s hard to do, because you may not believe yourself when you’re talking. It will likely feel a little silly, even. Act as if, at first, and eventually it will become natural, and you’ll really start to own it. Think about the power of this. You shift a belief, then you act in a way that is congruent with that belief, and it changes your life! It’s all upside. Joseph Goldstein, who was influential in bringing mindfulness practices to the western world, decades ago, says that, “the only power that thoughts have is the power that we give them.”
Limiting beliefs. We all have them, and they absolutely stand in the way of our success. Chances are you can think of, at least, one at this moment that you know has hindered you, and yet you can’t seem to free yourself. “I’ll never achieve greatness,” “who am I kidding,” “life always turns out this way,” any of these sound familiar?
It’s time to tend to the garden of your mind. Uproot the weeds. Dig into your mind and remove the limiting beliefs that are inhibiting you from achieving your dreams. Write out a list, so you can train your awareness to recognize when a limiting belief is interfering in your daily life. One powerful way to completely annihilate a limiting belief is to look at the evidence in your life to the contrary. Focus on the memories of times, places, and experiences where the opposite was true.
Mohamad Ali was a fantastic example of all of this in action. Go and watch his “I’ll Show You How Great I Am” press conference rant. He was famous for developing such an intense feeling of certainty about his abilities and what he was going to accomplish that, I believe, that confidence alone is what struck more fear into his opponents than his physical prowess in the ring. Losing, to him, wasn’t even part of the equation. Though he did lose some of his bouts, which was, doubtless, inevitable competing at that high level, at some point, it was his mindset that led him to victory, time and time again. Far more than his physical training and abilities. Out of 61 fights, he lost only 5 times. Let that sink in. You simply could not get into the head of this man, and get him to doubt himself.
Whatever a person frequently thinks and reflects on, that will become the inclination of their mind.
~ Buddha
All of this is the difference between “it can’t be done,” and “we can absolutely make this happen.” In the case of Steve Jobs, as the story goes, one engineer found a pink slip at his desk the day after he told Steve Jobs that he couldn’t design a mouse with the capabilities that Jobs had asked for. The next engineer said that he could do it, and, sure enough, he did. In another instance, engineers pushed back against Jobs’ one week timeline to finish the iMac in time to release to the public. He said, “you can do it. Believe in yourselves. If you can deliver it in two weeks, you can do it in one.”
As a final thought, Wayne Dyer encouraged us all to reframe the old saying of “I’ll believe it when I see it” to “I’ll see it when I believe it.” Take it upon yourself, to put all of this into practice. It will change your life.
Andre Sheremetiev Coaching 